I am still here...

OMG! 5 years! 

Everything takes hard work, including... getting back to what you love best.

After taking a break for many years... I decided to be back again...

If you followed me in the past... I apologize for making you wait for so long for another post. For personal reasons that are hard to explain in a few words I stopped publishing on the blog or anywhere else. I didn't stop writing, I just stopped making my work public. People kept asking - when the new post will come - but... Over, the years, I think a lot of followers accepted my abandon. And I hope that one day, when I will be able to open up and explain, they will forgive me.

If you are new here, welcome! I'm new too... to this platform and to being public again.

And I have no idea what I am doing, so please BE PATIENT! I'm still learning... It's like learning how to bike, but then not doing it for years - it is there - but not up to date. Actually, joke aside - that is a true story - I learned how to bike as a child and I only biked for a couple of summers on my cousin's bike when I was visiting my grandparents. And then... never again until I was thirty. I badly wanted a bike in my twenties, but I didn't get one, so, when my husband got me a bike, we realized that I had forgotten how to bike and I had to restart from zero. But, I did re-learn and I love biking. So, I hope that the same thing will happen with the blog - I just need some practice :) 

The focus of my blog has always been words - articles on different subjects, self-improvement, and once in a while an insight into my creative world of writing and arts. They are just words... about everything! Some different ideas to make people reflect more on the subject.

Are you in an Emotional Affair? - A few words on Emotional Cheating

 
I've been reflecting for a while on something...emotional cheating. It is not as much talked about as the physical cheating because it is harder to be identified and yet according to psychology an emotional affair is as hurting and as draining as a physical affair.  What is an emotional affair?

 

I will start with two real life examples. For the sake of privacy, I will not share names or point fingers.

 

First example:

 

A and D are childhood friends. At some point during their life they even considered being together, but somehow things didn't happen.

Later in life they were still very good friends, both in different serious relations. 
Also, the boundaries between A and D were clear, it was many times that while talking with him, A felt she wasn't fair to her partner. She asked herself - Should I share this with him or should I share it with my significant other? If I want my lover to be also my friend, well, I should switch gears.

With hard work A managed to create a certain complicity between her and her partner and got over the feeling of guilt.

At some point D started having trouble in his relation and started confiding in A about all their problems. It doesn't matter how his partner found out, but she did and she clearly wasn't very happy. It was their breaking point. Also, A knew for sure she wasn't the cause of their separation or the base of the problem, she felt pretty bad about it. After a clarifying discussion with D, she told him to put himself in his partner's shoes... How would you feel if...?

After a lot of discussions D managed to get back to his partner and they solved their relational conflicts.

Also, A and D are still friends, that was the moment when they detached themselves from their emotional connection.

 Second example:

N and V got divorced. A few other things contributed to their divorce, but emotional cheating was one of them.

You know that moment when you find your husband being cheesy with someone on the internet in a way that he has never talked to you? And I was ready to get over it..., even over their affair, but in a couple of years he got back in touch with her and things broke again between us.

He did cheat, not only emotionally, which evolved in a physical affair and he promised that he will stop...and it stopped, but only the physical...

These are examples, so that we are clear on what we are talking about...

How do you know that you are having an emotional affair or your significant other is having one?

Secretiveness - It's clear that if you are not sure how your partner will react or you will feel a little guilty - you will try to hide things. In this DNA age and with all the technology, things become pretty easy. This means ... you may take your phone everywhere with you and not allow your partner to sneak a peak for whatever. You may change phone and computer passwords and/ or delete message, emails, phone call history to hide whatever is going on in the background. If you are innocent, you shouldn't fear hiding anything from your partner that you cherish and love.

Disconnecting - No matter how strong your relation is, if you find that there are things that you can't share with your partner - there is a disconnection. Even more, if you used to share certain things with your partner and now you are sharing it with this person. Do you find that you and your significant other talk less and less about dreams, life, hobbies, even problems? When this disconnection evolves it gets to a point when you will also become more detached from your partner also at the physical level because somewhere deep down in you, also you don't want to admit it, you know the other person has become also an imagined sexual partner and intimacy with your partner feels like an emotional betrayal to your friend.

Emotional energy - Also, it doesn't seem obvious, but you think a lot about this person when you are not connected with them. You look forward for that moment when you will be again in touch with them, be it in person or via internet or via phone. You make sure that you spend time together no matter what and that time becomes very important to you. You slowly become dependent on this emotional connection and spend more and more time with this person and/or more frequently.

Guiltiness - You feel guilty if your partner saw you together or caught you talking, texting, writing to this person. You say things to this person that you would never share with your partner and you fear your partner's reaction. You keep a secret the amount of time you are spending with this person (not necessarily face to face, but emailing, texting, chatting etc.). Your friend or you may cross the line of friendship and you encourage the behaviour and try to hide that. Accidently, you may bring this person into conversation, by sharing their view when it comes to general things and you don't want to make your partner aware of how much you know about this person. You feel the need to give explanations or invent things to get you out of these situations.

Criticism - A certain frustration starts to build in you when you are with your partner. It may seem to you that his/ her demands, needs are unfounded. You have a feeling that your partner is demanding too much of you and you start being defensive - about your time, about your work, about your personal time and you start being critic. You may lash out at her/ him for minor things or become very defensive if your partner is questioning your relation with your friend or is making any negative comment on them.

Virtual interest - Also, this may also not be very obvious (depending on previous behaviour) - you spend more time with your phone or computer. You may check your feeds way too often, text when in a social gathering and glance at your phone when driving. Being online under different form your relation and your addiction to this relation may be easier to hide and maintain. After all, it's just a colleague, a business partner, a friend on social media.

Breaking point - Trust your gut, you will certainly feel when something is not exactly right in your relation. From there, you don't have many options.

• You either choose to go on with the object of your fantasy and break things with your partner OR
• You break things with your friend and give another chance to your relation.

These affairs are as hard to stop as they are hard to acknowledge.

Next step: Figure out what made you create this connection in the first place. Is it something that is not working in your relation? Is this something fixable? Do you see in that person something that you lost in your partner? Are you looking to this person because you see in this person something that your partner is lacking? Are you attached to them because you missed the chance to be with them at some point in your life? Do you still want to be with them or do you still care and love your partner?  What does this say about you? Be ready to give up on one or the other. No matter what you choose, you will be hurt and you will hurt - you are breaking a relation. This situation that is going on it is not fair to anyone, not to you, not to your partner, not to your friend. The earliest you decide to deal with this problem, the better - you still have a chance to come out clean in both directions no matter what you choose.

 

On politics and the power of people

Good governance depends on the people that are in power, but you cannot be in power without the power of your people.                                

How can a handful of people control millions? Because the masses are ignorant, because they act like a flock of sheeps that needs a shepherd to find the best pastures. And until the sheeps become smart enough to choose the best shepherd they will always be attacked by predators, they will be milked, sold and killed by the shepherd for his own profit, no matter how many pastures he destroys or how many generations of sheeps are passing by in his lifetime.
                                                    
 But, we humans we have a brain, a different brain than a sheep, and still, we kneel and follow with the same ignorance until we bleed and die. From two evils we pick the lesser evil and we hope that the worse will not happen to us, that we will not be the sheep that has to die tonight to feed the shepherd. And sometimes this is how some get by, their entire life, sometimes  the entire flock becomes a casualty in "the greater good" for the perpetuation of a social pattern.

The history has shown us that when human masses had enough, they trampled their leaders. That is called a revolution. But think about it - after how many generations of sacrificed sheeps?

Let's stop being sheeps when it comes to politics that dictate our future.
Nelson Mandela said, “Like slavery and apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings.”


Even if you don't like to admit it, even if you are afraid, even if don't like the stress of leadership, YOU are critical to the global movement of change.
When we understand that this is how it works, we will have found the beginning of a solution to our problems. And then...it comes the action! You are no longer one, you are many. And only after we can say - We have made history.
Don't let others dictate your own history. Get involved...today!

To kill or not to kill...

 I’m not writing this article to open some wild traits in you...but just to test your spirit of survival.
So, to make it clear from the beginning - it`s about humans...against animals.
The majority of us are very found about animals...we like and we protect them. I`ve seen in my life also people that would be violent with animals for no specific reason, just to tease them. And I`ve also noticed that the majority will only hit or swear on an animal only and if the animal attacked them.
But how about killing?
Would you kill an animal?

Last night our friends brought us some fresh fish directly from the lake. I knew I had to clean and prepare them, but when I opened the bag and noticed that one of them was still alive it made me so very sick, that I ended up in the washroom throwing up. I felt weak. I like fish and meat in my plate, but I think when we have the plate in front of us we don't see the killing. After all, even cleaning and preparing the fish made me feel like a butcher, a criminal that had slaughtered to pieces a being and hidden the remains in a garbage bag. I had nightmares all night long. Poor weakling!
City life offers us a certain comfort- that you may not find in the country side or in other open regions.
Animals in the city are mostly seen as companions, pets- friends of the human being. And if they are un-owned they are protected by some law, so you won’t just go out and kill some animal- for fun, or just because you are angry.
You can kill animals for fun in a certain designated area - for hunting..., but that’s something else.
What animals can you find in the cities that may be un-owned?
Because I`m in Canada- I`ll start with ones more frequently seen around here: squirrels, raccoons, rabbits some different kind of birds- like pigeons, ducks, seagulls, or geese, and of course the ones we like less as skunks, rats, mice, snakes etc., plus the insects : mosquitoes, cockroaches, ants etc.
In some other countries you can find also dogs or cats, maybe swans…
Let`s say you find one or more of these animals hanging around your yard or your house: eating your food, disturbing your garden, messing up your things, making dirt and noise, interfering with the security of your home.
You can call an exterminator or you can do the job by your self. You can go to the store and look for products that will help you catch or kill the animal that interfered with your safety.
But are you ready to kill?
You realize that once you put a trap out there or poison the next thing you’ll find the animal struggling to survive and run or you`ll see its immobile dead body.
You realize that this animal is doing you harm in some way- but, is killing your best solution? Are you ready to face the image?
Ok, and now you’ll tell me that you’ll never let rats or cockroaches invade your privacy. So, it’s a yes- kill!

But, do you know that there are people that adopt rats? Not even mentioning those that eat them. Killing for eating let's face it - it is there more then a matter of survival, a habit, an evolution.
Are you ready to adopt your invader and feed and offer him space in a controlled manner? So, yes you may adopt a squirrel or a dog, or cat, a duck, and maybe even a mouse, snake or rat at the extreme. So - do not kill!
But, you have to be ready to make this adoption a long term friendship. If it’s a dog or a cat you can hope and find somebody else who would want them. But how about a house mice or a snake? Are you sure?
And if you are too afraid to kill would you catch your invader and let him free in a park or in the field? Are you sure that this is the best solution? If it’s still in the city it will creep to the most appropriate human shelter.
So, are you ready to kill or not?

Accept life as it is or do the impossible

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I will start with this: “An optimist is a person that has insufficient information.”
This quote contradicts in a way what I would try to say later.

We live in a society that follow different rules…and one with tremendous power is money. If we think and over think everything; I mean absolutely everything on Earth can be translated to money. To the point that we come to realize that certain things are not right. On the other way you may wonder – how is this possible to live without money. Historically speaking money were a great invention that eased the consumption and trade in our human world. And then we started to quote everything in money. You may not do so yourself, but on a global level that is the trend. 

Someone told me a story about a sheik from Middle East related to him. They haven`t seen each other since they were kids, since my acquaintance family immigrated to North America. When they left their country both families were goat shepherds and don`t imagine a farm of goats but a few to bring the family some food. Now my acquaintance is a fairly normal person, working to sustain his family, while the other guy became a sheik. How come? That guy that didn’t have a chance to immigrate discovered an oil well, he sold it to the right people (that means the Americans) and became rich.
When my acquaintance got the chance and visited him, he was living in a huge, huge palace. My friend was saying he has never seen such opulence, and yet the level of culture and civilization was little changed from the goat shepherd. And he gave me a few examples related to the basic needs of eating, sleeping and hygiene. Anyhow, what surprised him the most was a special room – for money! “Imagine a hangar or a warehouse where one would deposit money! And I mean literally deposit money! Cash! There were probably billion of dollars there! What was bad…” my friend was saying “is that the room was full already and the money were deposited there for many years to the point that those at the base were rotted. When a new series of money were coming paid people would come in, take the decayed papers out and burn them!”

As you can see from this simple story money (as material) had no real value for those people. My friend was saying that on a small calculation a fair price for the barrel of oil would have been a maximum of 3 dollars. That amount was a fair amount to allow a family there to have a wealthy life style. Imagine the rest!
On the opposite side of the world my friend was saying that he has a hard time buying organic foods because they are way too expensive (bought with the same paper money that were rotting in his relative house).
But, I’m not going to talk about money! I’m going to talk about the choices in life.
Having as example the story above and these two types of societies…

What happens when the standards of these two societies collide into each other? If we take the best that is to be shared, that is also simple: 
You have access to natural, but you are restricted by money; you have access to comfort, but you are restricted by tradition. So, what do you do in this case? It is already clear to you what the best choices are, but they seem unachievable by the standards of the society you are living in. So, what do you do?

  Do you accept life as it is or you do the impossible? 

The most reasonable choice is to take things as they are – meaning following tradition, but giving you only a certain comfort; and following money, but giving you whatever that money can offer. (I left those two words in bold, so you can make the connection with the examples above - traditional habits and organic foods.)
The other thing that you can do is fight. A fight, no matter for what, is always taking you out of your comfort zone. A fight means that you can lose everything and win everything. And then it comes to what level you are willing to take this fight. Usually people fight till they start to lose, and when they start losing they give up!
It may seem now that the examples above are inappropriate; it is not a matter of life and death. So, if it is not a matter of life and death, why not fight? Every situation has its pro and cons, so when you do your situation’s pyramid see what weights more. On a career counseling session I have done a while back – they asked me to complete a form that helped identify my ideal career (all inclusive – location, field, position, money and benefits, environment, work time, colleagues etc).  At the end after two pages of utopic career, there was one simple question.

What are you willing to trade if you will get all this?

Think about this every time you chose to fight for something.
And I return to the first quote: “An optimist is a person that has insufficient information.” Are you boiling in optimism or in negativism…Or, what are you? That depends on the level of information you provide yourself sincerely every time you have to make a choice.

Happy people – Who are YOU?

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Talking today with an old friend I realized something – happiness ♥ ♫ ♥
No…I didn’t realize anything in that way, but a smile was definitely there! ^_^

Are you what the society says you are? Or are you what nature made you - a soul and a body?

In life we are all linked to different social standards that we learn since we are very little. Kindergarten, school, work, marry, have children etc. There is a societal pressure on you from the day you set eyes on this life, from the things you eat to the things you spit. These are the rules that a group uses for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviours. These rules may be explicit or implicit.

And more you get into these things more they overload you and you become them. I have to do this and that…It’s like a scale. And then the question comes “Where are you on that scale?”’
Norms are mostly transmitted by non-verbal behaviour, for example with “dirty looks” when people act outside the norms. They may also be transmitted through stories, rituals and role-model behaviour.
There are groups that evolve around common opportunities for growth, such as those formed in neighborhoods and/ or in college/ university. These groups usually have diffuse boundaries and the members are attracted together by a common willing scope. There are also other types of groups that develop around family or work. In these cases, the jointure is not necessarily the product of a common desired outcome, but is influenced by external factors. As an example, children don’t choose their parents, and workers don’t choose their co-workers. It doesn’t mean that these groups are not influenced by a certain attraction, but the first bound is an external factor defying the laws of attraction. We can even say that there is not a “group” that we are talking about in these cases, but an assembly. An individual is attracted by a certain group as he expects a certain rewarding association. The attraction to a certain group means the individual is seeking social acceptance among them. Most individuals have the tendency to want to impress others. This fight for a certain “supremacy” creates differentiations. It comes to the group to accept or counter these differences. (my comments are influenced by Exchange and power in social life By Peter M. Blau)

Of course, the social norms depend on what society you are living in. It refers to the normal expected actions of the members of its society.
“Norms are efficient means to achieve social welfare (Arrow 1971, Akerlof 1976), prevent market failures (Coleman 1989) or cut social costs (Thibaut and Kelley 1959, Homans 1961); norms are either Nash equilibria of coordination games or cooperative equilibria of prisoner's dilemma-type games (Lewis 1969, Ullmann-Margalit 1977), and as such they solve collective action problems.
But, a norm cannot simply be identified with a recurrent, collective behavioral pattern.” (Social Norms- First published Tue Mar 1, 2011 from Standford Encyclopaedia of Philosophy)

Interesting, isn’t it? But, you are still wandering what is my point…
As an example, the fact that you brush your teeth every day doesn’t mean that everybody else will do so. Having normative beliefs and expecting others to behave according to a given norm does not always result in norm-abiding behavior. Normative beliefs are ones' beliefs about the extent to which other people who are important to them think they should or should not perform... Maybe the groups? In other words, on that life scale as I mentioned before in a previous post: Your “made it” may not be the same with their “made it”.
The social identity is “that part of an individual's self-concept which derives from his knowledge of his membership of a social group (or groups) together with the value and emotional significance attached to that membership”. (Tajfel 1981- Human groups and social categories, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.)

Finding your social identity mean you start perceiving yourself and your fellow group-members along impersonal, “typical” dimensions that characterize the group to which you belong. Such dimensions include specific roles, and the beliefs/actions that accompany them. In the social identity framework, norms are defined as collective (as opposed to personal) beliefs about what actions are appropriate in a group-membership context.

My question is very simple then what happens when you fail those social standards? When you get fired…when you divorce…when you lose your children…when you abandon school…when you are abandoned…Does that make you a loser?

By certain standards – yes! In these cases the group that once received you now may reject you. It’s clear: you have lost your social identity. Imagine you are 50 years old, you have a “wonderful life” – a spose, kids, an excellent job, a house…, and then you no longer have any of those. You fall into a deep depression. But who said you had a “wonderful life”? The group to which you belonged – that society. In other words, you can still have a wonderful life by the standards of other groups even if you are divorced, with no kids, with no job, with not a fix place to stay. Why? Because you are what nature made you in the first place – a body and a soul. You have a body to help you move around or just to hold your brain and you have a mind to help you think. This is the real you. 

Happiness ♥ ♫ ♥ ? You will find peace the moment you accept the natural you. And happiness is also a standard that you impose upon you, related to your values and your relation to certain social groups.

Happy people? We are all happy people – we are just focused on different societal areas!

The relative importance of emotions versus normative beliefs for life satisfaction judgments was compared among individualist and collectivist nations in 2 large sets of international data (in total, 61 nations, N  = 62,446). Among nations, emotions and life satisfaction correlated significantly more strongly in more individualistic nations (r  = .52 in Study 1; r = .48 in Study 2). At the individual level, emotions were far superior predictors of life satisfaction to norms (social approval of life satisfaction) in individualist cultures, whereas norms and emotions were equally strong predictors of life satisfaction in collectivist cultures. The present findings have implications for future studies on cultural notions of well-being, the functional value of emotional experiences, and individual differences in life satisfaction profiles. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA)

To vote or not to vote – that is the question

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Some events have been flying around lately – like the , the Arabic riots, the Japanese disasters, the royal wedding or the death of Osama Bin la Den…but, my point here is not to address any of those subjects…materials of information and even more specific details you will find all over the place in the news…

As in Canada today is election day…I want you to think about something…your right to vote and the decision of putting out there your vote or not.

I realised that these days more and more people do not use enough their right to vote.
People assume that their vote doesn’t count or that they don’t have a lot of choice.
But, voting is not only about the right that you have it’s also about responsibility.

 

 

Voting patterns

Voting is a method by which a person can express an opinion or make a decision on a certain matter.
In politics voting implies the election of a representative for the government.
Usually, our days - legal citizens of a country, older then 18 or 21 years old are allowed to vote, no matter their background, their race, origins or sex.
It wasn’t always like that.
Some time ago, still not that long, only men who were richer and in a high social position could vote.
Women, other races then the majority, or uneducated people weren’t allowed to vote.
Some of these people obtained their right to vote not further then 50 years ago. So, maybe your grand-mother wasn’t allowed to vote- just ask her for details!
Some of the voting rights were obtained through a lot of work - law suits, strikes, revolutions...

Think about that when you think that you may or not go to vote.

Maybe you think that your vote won’t make any difference. But 1+1usually = 2.
In 1876 Hayes won the elections in the United States by one vote. You still think your vote is not important? And that was just one example.
You may think that your indifference to elections will be shown in the percentage of people who vote. Ya, that may be true - but in some or in most countries if the percentage is too low a new election will be held. Certainly you have more time to analyse your options, but... in the same time - think that a new election is usually as or even more expensive then the first one. With what money? Figure this out by yourself!

You also may think that those who are in power will manipulate the votes on their own will. Which is pretty much true in a non-democratic country or a coercive government. BUT, as long as there is also somebody else out there that vote the same thing as you did - you can get in touch with that person and make public your point.
We live in an era of high technology where news travels faster and faster. Plus, your discontent can be easily get public through different tools of social media- twitter, facebook, hi5, myspace, blogs, forums, or mobiles. etc.
You can easily become part of those that make history.
So, ya - your vote counts- your opinion counts! And, a good example of this is the impact of social media in the Moldavian Revolution, also known as Moldavian Twitter revolution – or the start of Arabic riots.
The point I’m trying to make here is that indifference does not count! Ignorance has denied people’s right to vote. Indifference has made people be crushed by different political systems. We all have the gift of free will: we can be quiet or we can express our opinion. Expressing something is not usually easy.

You can go to vote- and your vote may not count - but still you are expressing your opinion. If you still think the vote didn’t express your view you can go further with the process. It’s all about choices and actions.

Don’t be indifferent to a thing that was achieved so hardly!

Can we change the future? A scientific view...

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I was reading this article from 1998 about quantum theory – I know it’s pretty old…, but there was something about it that struck me! It’s maybe also because I’m reading this book that contains a lot of prescience characteristics or just my open mind.
So, I decided to put together all this scientific evidence with one scope – Can we change the future? Do we have an influence on our future?

An extract from the article on ScienceDaily (Feb. 27, 1998)

“demonstrating how a beam of electrons is affected by the act of being observed. The experiment revealed that the greater the amount of "watching," the greater the observer's influence on what actually takes place(...)When a quantum "observer" is watching Quantum mechanics states that particles can also behave as waves. This can be true for electrons at the submicron level, i.e., at distances measuring less than one micron, or one thousandth of a millimeter. When behaving as waves, they can simultaneously pass through several openings in a barrier and then meet again at the other side of the barrier. This "meeting" is known as interference.
Strange as it may sound, interference can only occur when no one is watching. Once an observer begins to watch the particles going through the openings, the picture changes dramatically: if a particle can be seen going through one opening, then it's clear it didn't go through another. In other words, when under observation, electrons are being "forced" to behave like particles and not like waves. Thus the mere act of observation affects the experimental findings.

To demonstrate this, the researchers built a tiny device measuring less than one micron in size, which had a barrier with two openings. They then sent a current of electrons towards the barrier. The "observer" in this experiment wasn't human.(…) Apart from "observing," or detecting, the electrons, the detector had no effect on the current. Yet the scientists found that the very presence of the detector-"observer" near one of the openings caused changes in the interference pattern of the electron waves passing through the openings of the barrier. (…)when the "observer's" capacity to detect electrons increased, in other words, when the level of the observation went up, the interference weakened; in contrast, when its capacity to detect electrons was reduced, in other words, when the observation slackened, the interference increased. Thus, by controlling the properties of the quantum observer the scientists managed to control the extent of its influence on the electrons' behaviour” (Reference Weizmann Institute Of Science (1998, February 27). Quantum Theory Demonstrated: Observation Affects Reality. ScienceDaily)
 
I hope you just read this article as carefully as I did.
A psychiatric study at the Dream Laboratory at Maimonides Hospital, New York that took place for over 40 years tested the hypothesis that sleeping subjects could dream about aspects of randomly selected target material, for example, films, drawings, photographs, or art prints. The research approached the subject of “remote viewing” (the practice of seeking impressions about a distant or unseen target using paranormal means), prescient dreams (perception through dreams that involves the acquisition or effect of future information), and telepathy (the induction of mental states from one mind to another). These experiments were positive.

 

Alain Aspect, a French physicist, in 1982 discovered that subatomic particles such as elections are able to automatically - instantaneously - simultaneously communicate with each other regardless of the distance separating them. The speed of the information that flows in between is higher than light speed, inverting thus the time.

In quantum mechanics, the Heisenberg uncertainty principle states by precise inequalities that certain pairs of physical properties, such as position and momentum, cannot be simultaneously known to arbitrarily high precision. That is, the more precisely one property is measured, the less precisely the other can be measured.

According to the de Broglie hypothesis, every object in our Universe is a wave, a situation which gives rise to this phenomenon. Consider the measurement of the position of a particle. The particle's wave packet has non-zero amplitude, meaning that the position is uncertain – it could be almost anywhere along the wave packet. To obtain an accurate reading of position, this wave packet must be 'compressed' as much as possible, meaning it must be made up of increasing numbers of sine waves added together. The momentum of the particle is proportional to the wavenumber of one of these waves, but it could be any of them. So a more precise position measurement – by adding together more waves – means that the momentum measurement becomes less precise (and vice versa).

And then, come all the questions:
Is our future written?  Can one to influence it?  Do we really have a free will? 

In the book – my hero can see the future of his life, but he also has a glimpse of a something else beyond his life. And that something else, makes him decide to change his life in order to change that far future. But, how do you know you are making the right choices? The uncertainty principle. More you focus on the future, more you lose sight of the present, more you focus on the present, more you lose contact with the future. Fair?
But…by following the quantum theory – by barely being present here today – a mere observer of your future you are influencing your future. In other words the system is to be found in a given state at a given time – the universe wants that future to happen. Let’s say you don’t want to follow that future, so you change something. The path adjusts its self to the new course.
Lame, as it may sound – but “the Secret” theory seems to have a base. To simplify this - once you glimpse something, you make it real. Or maybe not – just focus on the present…
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Martisor - A custom to celebrate spring

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I don’t know if the custom is "exclusively Romanian", because in my travels and connections with different cultures I found similarities to this custom and symbolism that have the same extent…

But, what does Martisor mean for those of you that don’t know?

The Martisor celebration starts on the first of March and ends at the end of the month, sometimes even longer. Martisor – the name is a diminutive meaning Little Mars from Martie – the name of the month in Romanian. The actual object is like a talisman shaped as a flower, an animal, a heart, a coin that is tied by an interlaced red and white string. Mostly men or children they offer this talisman as a gift to the ladies in their lives ... not only to the relatives: wives or mothers, sisters, daughters or grand- mothers but also co-workers, neighbours, friends etc. In some parts of Romania also the young men or children (females or males) receive the Martisor as a gift. The Martisor is the symbol of love, innocence, friendship and purity – the symbol of spring its self. The white and red string is for luck and for banishing the evil spirits in ones life. And it’s said it will bring health and beauty all year long. The Martisor can be worn at the wrist, around the neck or as a brooch tied to clothes.

When did this tradition start? Long, long time ago say the archaeologists who have found evidence even at the Dacian people, the Romanian ancestors. There are different legends related to the string – the mixture of the warm upcoming beauty and the cold going winter, a duel between two beautiful princesses – the Winter and the Spring, between an old lady and a young one, between the wisdom of a man (cold and pure) and the fertility of a woman (warm and alive). Even if the Martisor tradition can be found mostly in Romania, it has spread also in some South – Eastern European countries.

I associate this type of string with other cultures customs such as Chinese or Hindu – who have similar strings to keep away the evil spirits and bring good luck. The Hindu string is also worn at the wrists and mostly by the women.

In one Romanian tradition on the first day of March a man ties a Martisor to an unmarried woman wrist and then at the end of the month he must also untie it. The customs evolves around the wish of a happy marriage for the young woman. In another tradition if the Martisor is a gold or silver coin at the end of the celebration the coin is put in water and then the woman washes her face in that water to stay beautiful and shiny all year long.
At the end of the celebration the Martisor string is attached to a blossoming tree, also to maintain the luck and happiness all year long. In some custom the string is attached to any tree and a wish is made. If the tree will blossoms beautifully your wish will come true.

Luck, happiness or innocence – the tradition has its own beauty in celebrating the coming spring. So, I introduce you all to this tradition hopping that you will enjoy it and maybe adopt it as a way to celebrate Spring.

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A Horsemen of the Apocalypse ?

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I found this video related to the riots in Egypt...
A phantom caught on camera? Lens or lights reflections?



Or just a sign of what is to come? The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - are described in just eight verses of the book of Revelation, which is the last book in the bible.

Rev 6:7 When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!" 8 I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth.

The horse is yellow green like a dead person. This horse sums up the work of the other three i.e. kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth.

I won't comment anything...just expose you the facts...so, make your own conclusion. Or, let's just see what happens.

Time Travelers?

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I found this information while searching I don't know what on the internet...And I found it interesting. Evidence about time traveling?

The picture is definitely strange...and I won't try to depict it - as, I am for sure no expert...
They say this picture has been taken in 1940 -1941 at the reopening of the South Fork Bridge after flood, somewhere in Canada...
Look at the man with the sun glasses - he doesn't seem
to fit in the crowed of that time...But is he really a time traveler? Modern sun glasses and a modern camera (or not)?

It seems others have tried to depict this picture and it is authentic, even if me personally I couldn't find it exposed on the Virtual Museum of Canada (maybe you have more luck).

Maybe the guy wasn't really a time traveler - maybe he was just a young man way ahead his time in fashion practices...How about the glasses?

The glasses to protect against the sun started around mid-18th century, but they became more popular after 1929 when they were mass produced...So, who knows, maybe they are not that modern after all...

The second so called proof of time traveling I found is from a Charlie Chaplin movie...



This one has been depicted as being a hearing device...not a cell phone. Why in the world would a old lady hold a cell phone in around 1920 when they were invented in the `80 and of course she didn't have coverage...or maybe she had some special coverage with her friends time travelers...because they were coming from the distant future...

Another example may be what it looked like a 19th century watch found by archaeologist in a grave of the Ming dynasty in Shangsi, southern China. There are two explanations to this…maybe they were not the first to open the grave, even if they assumed so… Or maybe, the predecessors were smart enough to build a watch.

There are other videos of people pretending to have time traveled…in an organized way or by accident (just YouTube it). These two – are kind of funny:



I like this one. A premonition or just a coincidence?



The thing is there are also notes before this video/audio recording technology about some strange encounters…with people that lived in a certain time and accidentally encountered in their very familiar surroundings ( like house or garden) a person that passed by shortly ( a few moments) and pretended to be from a different time and that was his or her house, garden etc.

Possible or not…Hoax or not? How about Stephen Hawking’s time travel paradox?



See you in the future past!

What have you become? (Reconnecting with long distance friends)

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I’m getting in touch lately with a lot of people that I’ve lost contact over the years – do to this social media thing. It is interesting to see how these people that you used to play with, or that you went to school with in your first years have evolved and how they react to this re-connection. This made me think about a few things.
Is this something you really want –getting in touch with a bunch of old buddies and acquaintances? How comfortable are you with that?


When you grow up and you move on with our lives, you leave behind a lot of things, not only friends or family or things, but maybe also bad memories or embarrassing moments that in a way or another made you the one you are today. As I mentioned before, in a previous post – we all have our little secrets. Is not that you are going out there and expose them publicly…or that your long distant friends will start digging these moments…Or maybe is just a picture or an embarrassing memory…Or maybe you feel ashamed of what you have become.

What are the first things that you look at when you get back in touch with these people…
1. Where do they live?
2. What schools have they attended?
3. What is their profession?
4. Are they married or single?
5. Have they changed physically a lot?

And then what do you do? You look at yourself and start to compare. You remember the dreams or ideas that you shared with that person, the memories…It’s like you are giving points and see who of you two “made it” better in life. Are you serious about this?

Aren’t you supposed to be just happy you met an old friend? Not only this, but you may start juggling about in complains that you are not where you should be because this and that... And then you don’t even want to get into discussions with that person because you feel uncomfortable. You may just keep them in your list or even delete them and hide forever in your depressive shell.

Of course, there is an opposite of this – You realize fast enough that you “made it” in life and you start bragging about yourself to the point that you become disgraceful to the other person. Or…you just can’t get it how people still can feel happy if they “didn’t make it” in life.

Ok, let’s clear the waters now!
First, people change – one may have been wick and now is stronger, one may have been stronger and now looks wicker, even their ideas and ideals in life change.
Second – you have no clue what the other person has been through with all the details for all those 15-20 years you lost contact with them just by answering 5 questions. Or the other person doesn’t know what you have been through.
Third – your “made it” may not be the same with their “made it”, even if at a certain point maybe your ideas were the same.

Maybe you won’t have the same relation as before, it may be worst or better; maybe even now – that you have reconnected you are not available for them all the time. So, let the enmity aside and be happy you have the chance to even be again in touch with lots of people that passed through your life…and they are just a click away for a simple polite and smiling “How are you? It’s so nice to have some news about you!”

Celebration ...

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Happy New Year!

Bonne annee!

Un an nou fericit!

Felice Nuovo Anno!

Prospero Ano Nuevo!

あけましておめでとうございます( Akemashite omedeto gozaimasu)!

இனிய தமிழ் புத்தாண்டு நல்வாழ்த்துக்கள் (Iniya Tamizh Puthaandu Nalvaazhthukkal)!

新年快樂 (Xin Nian Kuai Le)!

С новым годом (S Novim godom)!

Have fun and a new marvelous year!

We all have our little secrets

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You may call it a lie – or you may call it …”I just don’t want to talk about” but there is always a little something hidden, in a chest with plenty of padlocks that only you can open…or so you think.
They are usually unpleasant moments that one would like actually to forget forever. A file with heavy words, disturbing pictures, a clip of your life that you don’t feel comfortable with because it provokes emptiness in the heart, a shaking of the body and even salty waves on the face. There is another option that this smashed memory is not at all unpleasant, but it was that pleasant that it will make you feel embarrassed if you try to link it with something from your present. So, you just keep it hidden.

Sometimes I just want to pull out my brain out and press delete, delete to certain folders. Can you see the prison of life?
Unless you get amnesia, you want it or not – your chest with hidden garbage or treasures is still there. Once in a while in the chambers of your brain a word, a smell, an image triggers the spells you created to make it invisible and it shows off in the visible you. Because you like it or not…it is part of you. You push it away as much as you can, and you try to exhibit a different collection, but someone has noticed it and wants to know what is inside. And you – you just don’t want to open it.

It is not a real lie – we all know that if we felt happy when someone closed felt sad, or we did or said something that it may worsen a present situation – we just don’t want to say it. We put a cork to our throat, so that the words do not form themselves and we destroy all the evidence. Or so we think…In a way our secrets are not at all secrets if someone else was involved and even if you were alone – if one small scratch was left behind…someone can still wonder.

Do you want your little secret to be discovered?

Maybe yes, so that your conscience will feel less heavy. Or maybe not, because that moment has no relevance in the present. As long as the old lamp from the chest doesn’t burn to ashes anything from the present your secret seems safe. But, it is not really healthy for you
– there are in your “perfectly” sealed chest the eggs of cockroaches left by the bigger secrets that will spread out in all the other chambers of your being, eating and damaging the furniture of your body, the food of your soul, the clothes of your being till they reach outside and one human can notice easily your eaten flesh by the unknown plague of insides. And before it reaches out and people are scared and run away…you better hire a disinfection specialist…or just a friend, or a priest or a stranger who is ready to listen to your confession. Smaller secrets, such as breaking a cup and blaming your brother will have a smaller option to spread out…But, others like stealing your dads’ car when you were eighteen, and now you are forty can be a good small example of reconciling with your past.

Our Angels

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I was reading on Paulo Coelho's blog something about angels...and I decided to share with you some thoughts on the subject...

I was about 13-14 at that time. I got a very bad cold and felt very sick for days. Lying in bed was all I could do, except the medication and the warm soups my mother was preparing for me. After a late lunch and medication I finally fell asleep. A moment before starting to open my eyes I felt a soft touch and heard a voice that whispered to me: “Everything will be fine now. You are already feeling better”. When I woke up I saw through the eyelids, in a blurish form - an Angel, in a very white gown embroidered by light. It was so beautiful, a tenderness of brightness. I couldn’t distinguish any other form and I open widely my eyes. The Angel was gone. I didn’t move feeling disappointed that the Angel disappeared because of me and in the same time I was enjoying feeling better from my sickness. A corner of my white pillow was standing just in front of my eyes dressed in the last beams of the sun. I got up.

We like the idea of angels no matter the religion. The term has a connotation in Christian religion – a being that is the messenger of God. Expending this connotation the term is employed to express a supernatural being, in a spiritual form that will guide and protect a human being. Anyhow the etymology of the word is very clear, the English “Angel” derived from French that came from Latin, and the Latin word was an adaption of a Greek word - they all had the same definition –“messenger”.

The Angel is ideally a spirit of love and goodness. But, coming also from a Christian interpretation – Lucifer, was also an Angel – a fallen one. So, in time the Angel was given two attributes – a good and a bad Angel.

We like to think of Angels – not from the religious point of view, but to justify a certain action or to embellish a story. It may happen that one’s Angel is someone close to him/ her that has done something great for that person. Or… You may have more than one Angel in life. People that help, guide and protect you in different moments in life and then they move on or you move on. They stop being your Angels because they have accomplished their mission or some of them they remain there forever. Can you be an Angel? Of course, you can! Just do something amazing and you’ll be called an Angel. There is also the other side of the story with the dark side, and that means to be bad, provoke pain and suffering, disgust etc. I wouldn’t suggest that side.
The thing when you call people Angels is that they don’t have any supernatural powers – they are just in a position, at a moment, to guide you into a better path. They may not even have the necessary means, but their actions and words can be of great help. A messenger from above, or not – they have the power to enrich you.

Can we be our own angels?
Maybe yes, maybe not. Because as we tend to interpret that we all have the opportunity to do something great that we’ll entitle us with the term “Angel” – we can be good or mean to ourselves by our own thoughts. That may be when the extra-sensorial interpretation will appear – that some Angel, beyond any scientific explanation has been given the mission to protect us and it’s putting those thoughts in our head. On the other side, an Angel is not complete if he/she does good only to him/herself.
To conclude, think of all those in your life that you may call your Angels. Do they deserve a thank you, those you know and those you may not know?

Another chance

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It happens that for some reason one person is stack in a situation, because she/he needs the money, she/ he needs a shelter, she/ he needs some support, out of outside causes.

I’ll give you an example: Ms. A. Her life was not one of the most wonderful, but if you look at her you wouldn’t see that. Ms. A. is coming from a modest family. She lost her mother when she was quite young, and her father remarried. When her father died too, she and her older sister didn’t know what to do, but their step mother was nice enough to still keep them in the house. They started working very young and in time they moved away in a small rented place. Ms. A dream was too be an athlete. But, she never fulfilled it – because she was always to busy with school or work to spend any time or money training. When her sister got married, and then appeared the baby – she had to move away – it was too crowded for all of them. And the option came from A. boyfriend – to move in with his family, a very wealthy family. She was very happy when this family accepted her – a very poor young woman – that came in their 4 bedrooms house with only one luggage. With the help of her boyfriend father she met some important people that later on became her first clients in her new open small business. She was not an athlete – too old for that – but, she was a very good interior designer. Unfortunately, her relationship with Mr. P, her boyfriend was not that happy. The man was not what he seemed to be – he was sloppy, inappropriate, and also flirty with other women. There was always a sort of war between them, which culminated with his first infidelity. Out of respect for his parents and because also Ms. A was kind of caught up in that situation she gave him another chance. Year after year, working hard to achieve success at work, to maintain her relationship and to keep the respect for the family that offered her support and help. Too bad, Mr. P didn’t appreciate that and continued his errands. Where to go, and what to do? How many fights and infidelities can a person accept? Imagine, that she had to stand out seeing his mistresses around the house like she didn’t exist. And all the fights Mr. P had also with the rest of his family. She was feeling guilty and wanted to leave, but there was always something that stopped her: not enough money, not enough courage, hope that things will work out, respect for the older members. But, when Mr. P parents died, shortly one after the other, she couldn’t stand it anymore. She moved. Ms. A was in her forties – but, she offered herself a new start from zero away from Mr. P and his very young mistress.

I don’t know if for you who had always wealthy happy life, and comfort something like this seems normal. But, there are just situations that keep you stack in there – a job that you don’t like, but you keep it because there are bills to pay, or you can not divorce because your salary is not enough to let you live alone or even caring for a child, because your health is not good enough to help you fulfill your dream, because you don’t have enough money to pay for certain classes or move away or somewhere else.
A personal choice or just a lack of options? And the worst is that a situation like that can last for many years. Are you up for that?

Plus, not talking about those situations that do not depend on you. No choice there.

Do you think these people deserve a second chance or not? Is it too late for a fresh start? Can one still re-invent him/herself no matter the age? Do we all have the right to another chance?

The thing is that once you are into a situation there are two major choices: risk everything and start at zero, leaving the past behind, or find solutions to improve that situation, but still live in it. Sometimes you get out, sometimes you don’t.

I heard very bad or very good news lately from some of my friends…and none of those situation they were facing it was a personal choice. They found themselves in there and wanted to get out, struggling and pushing in a tunnel with no end. Patience and endurance and my friend shacked himself from the morass he was in and started chasing a beam in the sun. Good luck, B! Unfortunately, one couldn’t make it further as the tunnel crumbled. We can not fight natural causes. Sorry, for your loss C! And one…one is waiting …So, be brave, M!

Maybe you are weak. Maybe you have your sins. Maybe you stepped into that puddle because you were careless. But, don’t leave yourself drawn in there, even if you don’t know how to swim. Fight! It may be light at the end of the tunnel or not…, but you’ll never know if you don’t take any step. So maybe, we all deserve…another chance…

One way trip to Mars!

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***Breaking NewS!***

Have you ever dream about going to space or somewhere closer like Mars? How it will be to populate the red planet? This is your chance! And for free! NASA is paying for it.

NASA is looking for volunteers to go to Mars…forever.
NASA is considering sending people that will want to colonize the red planet and that understand the idea that they will be sent on a mission with no coming back to Earth. The mission costs are too high – 11$ billion - to prepare a two way ticket for the trip, even if the one way journey will be in a nuclear-fueled rocket.

The team will not be the first to live outside the planet as, Expedition 25 crew is also preparing to live and work aboard the space station by 4 p.m. EDT Monday, Nov. 1.

The problem is that Mars is not that friendly having an average surface temperature of -63C and a thin atmosphere made mostly of carbon dioxide. Supplies of food and oxygen are a must – till further mutation and development can be seen on the 20 years ahead of Earth planet.

The people needed are those that have also the right skills - a mixture of scientists, astronomers and explorers.
Or, you can train yourself to be up for such a mission.
Any volunteers, so far?

Note: Source NASA blog and the Internet. I don`t won the copyright of the picture

When does a friend stop being your friend?

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I woke up one day - and this subject was floating into my head, but I just couldn’t link it to anything. So, here it goes...friendship debate. I would say this is related to the previous post - When can I call you my friend? (even if they are written in the opposite order than publishing - they link)

Some of us we make friends easily, some of us hardly. Some of us we invest a lot in the relations around us, some of us we don’t care. And some of us we are just lonesome, with no friends around.
There are people, who tend to have an army of friends, and they can count only on a few of them- and they are those that have only a few friends- and they call them the best.

Why do we need friends?
Simply because we are humans, we need to socialize, interact, exchange ideas and get all sort of support from those that we call friends.
Friends don’t need necessarily to be completely compatible with a person- just a common trait or a common interest can be enough to create a friendship. Some friends are situational - that means you only make contact as long as a certain situation goes a long.
When do you start calling someone a friend?We can make acquaintances at every corner of the street and in every situation, but friends are something more, involving a deeper feeling of synergy.
As Wikipedia states "Friendship is mutually cooperative and supportive behavior between two or more people."Friendship involves empathy, affection, respect, loyalty, trust, understanding, reliability, reciprocity.
So when does a friend stop being your friend?Most probably when of the things mentioned above cease to manifest.
A friendship may stop because the interaction is no longer at the same level, because of the distance and because the lack of contact or simply because one person has disappointed the other in some way.Losing a friend is something that we miss in our day to day life. And being disappointed by a friend it’s even a stronger feeling that influences our behavior inconstantly in our future relations.There are things that "friends" do that may seem unforgivable. And even if time heals the suffering, it’s hard to trust that person again at the same level.
Some people are strong in their decisions and they never talk to that person again. Some, they just move on and put that friend in the list of acquaintances.
In our society, unfortunately people don’t rely anymore that much in their friends. Friends- are usually casual- to share a drink or a chat. Some times a mutual interest is involved. "You are my friend because you play very well tennis and I’m just learning, so I need you around. I am your friend because I’m very good at maths and I can help you with your exams" When this interaction ceases - "goodbye friendship!"
Lucky some friends are just always there, for life- no matter what you need or they need from you.
Did you disappoint some friend recently? Or someone disappointed you? Is there a friend you haven’t spoke in a long time?
I like this proverb "A friend in need it's a friend indeed", so keep that in mind when you think at the friendship level. But, think of your friends even if you don`t need them or they don`t need you. A thought of peace or joy is always a welcome smile.

Lately...

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I haven`t put anything here lately because I was caught up with other things...and the drafts that I have need polishing and images...
I hope I`ll find the time to select more images and play a little on the words...
Sorry, for the wait...just writing something else ;) ...
Here comes something old and actual at the same time

When can I call you "my friend" ?

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Sometime ago one of my friends she was telling me this situation that happened to her. She was hanging out for several months with a group of people she met in her new school. They went for drinks, movies, parties, walks, home invites – all those fun things. In the group she got more close to one of the girls sharing all the trendy little secrets. One day that girl she was very sad and she closed herself in one room and was crying. My friend wanted to know what happened, so she went after her to console her. She was pushed away with a very rude saying: “Why should I tell you my private feelings? The fact that we hang out for drinks doesn`t mean we are friends! We are not! We are just acquaintances!”
My friend assumed was just something she said being nervous, so when that girl was in a better mood she opened the discussion. Wrong! “Get this well in your head! We are not friends!”

I was in a similar situation some years ago…I knew this person for many years, but due to the distance we could not consider ourselves very close friends – like best friends. Still, we shared many common things, we shared feelings and secrets and we were enjoying our time together whenever we got the chance. We were opened to each other, we had that mutual understanding that you have only with special people.
One day that person did something quite inappropriate. As a sign of our so called by me friendship I asked for explanations. Wrong! “We are not friends! I`m sorry I ever created you that impression! We were just talking!” I don`t remember exactly how the conversation continued I just remember I was left with a bitter taste and every other time I was even named friend or made feel I was a friend by that person I didn`t know how to take it.

I tried to see if I was ever put on the other side - to be considered a friend and not feel like one. Maybe. But, feel is not the same with yell in someone’s face “you are not my friend”. You just don’t rely too much on that person – when in need, or you don`t share your secrets. When someone calls you a friend it gives you a great honor. It means that person trusts you and cares about you and your feelings and shares with you his/ her intimate feelings and thoughts. Even if you don`t share the same trust or feelings, at least you can respect what the other person feels. I`m happy when someone calls me their friend it means to me that person appreciates me.

When do YOU call a person a friend? Does friendship implies certain responsibilities? Or you just take it as it is? What do you do if a person calls you a friend and you don`t feel like it? Do you have certain expectations from someone you call a friend?
Are there any boundaries to friendship? Probably yes. Especially if it comes to a man – woman friendship or age difference or cultural values or…I don`t know, you name it!

This post has no particular purpose…I just hope you`ll analyze this on your side. (it may be a continuation to this…the opposite)
And from my side – many thanks to those that consider me their friend – in a way or another ;).

Note: I do not own the copyright for the images