.
You may call it a lie – or you may call it …”I just don’t want to talk about” but there is always a little something hidden, in a chest with plenty of padlocks that only you can open…or so you think.
They are usually unpleasant moments that one would like actually to forget forever. A file with heavy words, disturbing pictures, a clip of your life that you don’t feel comfortable with because it provokes emptiness in the heart, a shaking of the body and even salty waves on the face. There is another option that this smashed memory is not at all unpleasant, but it was that pleasant that it will make you feel embarrassed if you try to link it with something from your present. So, you just keep it hidden.
Sometimes I just want to pull out my brain out and press delete, delete to certain folders. Can you see the prison of life?
Unless you get amnesia, you want it or not – your chest with hidden garbage or treasures is still there. Once in a while in the chambers of your brain a word, a smell, an image triggers the spells you created to make it invisible and it shows off in the visible you. Because you like it or not…it is part of you. You push it away as much as you can, and you try to exhibit a different collection, but someone has noticed it and wants to know what is inside. And you – you just don’t want to open it.
It is not a real lie – we all know that if we felt happy when someone closed felt sad, or we did or said something that it may worsen a present situation – we just don’t want to say it. We put a cork to our throat, so that the words do not form themselves and we destroy all the evidence. Or so we think…In a way our secrets are not at all secrets if someone else was involved and even if you were alone – if one small scratch was left behind…someone can still wonder.
Do you want your little secret to be discovered?
Maybe yes, so that your conscience will feel less heavy. Or maybe not, because that moment has no relevance in the present. As long as the old lamp from the chest doesn’t burn to ashes anything from the present your secret seems safe. But, it is not really healthy for you
– there are in your “perfectly” sealed chest the eggs of cockroaches left by the bigger secrets that will spread out in all the other chambers of your being, eating and damaging the furniture of your body, the food of your soul, the clothes of your being till they reach outside and one human can notice easily your eaten flesh by the unknown plague of insides. And before it reaches out and people are scared and run away…you better hire a disinfection specialist…or just a friend, or a priest or a stranger who is ready to listen to your confession. Smaller secrets, such as breaking a cup and blaming your brother will have a smaller option to spread out…But, others like stealing your dads’ car when you were eighteen, and now you are forty can be a good small example of reconciling with your past.
You may call it a lie – or you may call it …”I just don’t want to talk about” but there is always a little something hidden, in a chest with plenty of padlocks that only you can open…or so you think.
They are usually unpleasant moments that one would like actually to forget forever. A file with heavy words, disturbing pictures, a clip of your life that you don’t feel comfortable with because it provokes emptiness in the heart, a shaking of the body and even salty waves on the face. There is another option that this smashed memory is not at all unpleasant, but it was that pleasant that it will make you feel embarrassed if you try to link it with something from your present. So, you just keep it hidden.
Sometimes I just want to pull out my brain out and press delete, delete to certain folders. Can you see the prison of life?
Unless you get amnesia, you want it or not – your chest with hidden garbage or treasures is still there. Once in a while in the chambers of your brain a word, a smell, an image triggers the spells you created to make it invisible and it shows off in the visible you. Because you like it or not…it is part of you. You push it away as much as you can, and you try to exhibit a different collection, but someone has noticed it and wants to know what is inside. And you – you just don’t want to open it.
It is not a real lie – we all know that if we felt happy when someone closed felt sad, or we did or said something that it may worsen a present situation – we just don’t want to say it. We put a cork to our throat, so that the words do not form themselves and we destroy all the evidence. Or so we think…In a way our secrets are not at all secrets if someone else was involved and even if you were alone – if one small scratch was left behind…someone can still wonder.
Do you want your little secret to be discovered?Maybe yes, so that your conscience will feel less heavy. Or maybe not, because that moment has no relevance in the present. As long as the old lamp from the chest doesn’t burn to ashes anything from the present your secret seems safe. But, it is not really healthy for you
– there are in your “perfectly” sealed chest the eggs of cockroaches left by the bigger secrets that will spread out in all the other chambers of your being, eating and damaging the furniture of your body, the food of your soul, the clothes of your being till they reach outside and one human can notice easily your eaten flesh by the unknown plague of insides. And before it reaches out and people are scared and run away…you better hire a disinfection specialist…or just a friend, or a priest or a stranger who is ready to listen to your confession. Smaller secrets, such as breaking a cup and blaming your brother will have a smaller option to spread out…But, others like stealing your dads’ car when you were eighteen, and now you are forty can be a good small example of reconciling with your past.
No comments:
Post a Comment