Today one of the few females in our company came in a very, very short tight skirt. I’ve never seen her in something that short. She always dresses very politically correct – business- as required. I know is Friday…, casual allowed, but something was strange. This woman is in her forties, a mum, and freshly engaged to her boyfriend she’s been dating for couple of years. “Maybe she is celebrating something” I said to my self. But no! The answer came fast when I was just heading off from her office. One of our clients – a man, came in with the arms full of files. He would be staying with her all day working on those files. Handsome man I would say, but…
I silly laugh burst inside me!
And then I recalled something from my youth. Similar situation. I was babysitting a ten years old child for a family. I was staying with her only one day a week when no one was around. Sometimes the mum would come and work from home, but she still needed someone to look over her little one. Every time this lady was home she was dressed casual, maybe some sporty or loose clothes, and definitely no make-up or hair coiffure. I even hang around their house for special dinners with her, the child and her husband or saw her coming from work, but I never seen her dressed somehow more special. One day, when I was there – I noticed she really looked different – wearing a tight dress, make-up…and all shiny – very beautiful. So, I asked her if she intended to leave the house and she said no. Later on, she announced me that some architect may come over to discuss some changes about their house. I would say this is the only man I ever seen that looked like Richard Gere in his youth. And she was all smiles and flirty, like a twenty years old woman. I just couldn’t believe it!It happened to me a couple of times, if I was more arranged then usual, people around me will ask: “Are you going on a date?” NO! Do I need to be pretty just because I am going on a date? Can’t I just be pretty because I feel like it, for myself?
Why does a woman need to show off when she has a good looking man around her?...even if she is committed. Why is a woman showing off when she is going on a date? All pumped up and pretty. My friend has a saying for this “she needs to sell”.
Ok, but lets put it the other way around…You buy a product that has a very nice pack and when you get home you realize that the inside is totally different. What do you do? Certainly that product won’t have a long term value in your eyes. Same thing with the woman that is showing off just on special dates.
Psychologically speaking the woman is showing off to bust her confidence and even if she is committed and loved by one man, a second pair of eyes will just make her feel better, sexier and…more desired. And this applies also to men, not only women.
I may see things in a reverse way, thus. Imagine this – you like someone, and only arrange yourself so that person will notice you…, that person may notice you, but…it may happen that he is just not into you or indifferent. You won’t receive any special glance or any special compliment – the person will act as usual and even ignore you. When you are alone with yourself you will feel awful. A bunch of questions will pop up in your head: “Why didn’t he see me?” “Am I that ugly/ fat etc?”
So, why do you need someone to just nail your mood…or bust it?
When you feel good about yourself – is because of you. Because you have that attitude that reminds you how beautiful, smart and wonderful you are. From time to time you may need someone to confirm your perception of yourself so you don’t fall into narcissism, but seriously you do not need to make yourself beautiful for somebody else. You are beautiful because you are charming yourself, you have a pretty smile, you take care of yourself – and all the other attributes that you acknowledge about your person.
And those valuable attributes of your person you have them because you are a bright woman and you always take care of yourself – body and soul, no matter the situation. And, yes you have all those attributes and you don’ t need a man to tell you how you look. Don’t you have mirrors? And when you smile to yourself in the mirror tell yourself: “I am beautiful because that’s the way I am and today I am even more beautiful because it is a beautiful day outside”
So, show off, dear woman, for everybody, but especially for yourself!