Show off – dear woman!

Today one of the few females in our company came in a very, very short tight skirt. I’ve never seen her in something that short. She always dresses very politically correct – business- as required. I know is Friday…, casual allowed, but something was strange. This woman is in her forties, a mum, and freshly engaged to her boyfriend she’s been dating for couple of years. “Maybe she is celebrating something” I said to my self. But no! The answer came fast when I was just heading off from her office. One of our clients – a man, came in with the arms full of files. He would be staying with her all day working on those files. Handsome man I would say, but…
I silly laugh burst inside me!

And then I recalled something from my youth. Similar situation. I was babysitting a ten years old child for a family. I was staying with her only one day a week when no one was around. Sometimes the mum would come and work from home, but she still needed someone to look over her little one. Every time this lady was home she was dressed casual, maybe some sporty or loose clothes, and definitely no make-up or hair coiffure. I even hang around their house for special dinners with her, the child and her husband or saw her coming from work, but I never seen her dressed somehow more special. One day, when I was there – I noticed she really looked different – wearing a tight dress, make-up…and all shiny – very beautiful. So, I asked her if she intended to leave the house and she said no. Later on, she announced me that some architect may come over to discuss some changes about their house. I would say this is the only man I ever seen that looked like Richard Gere in his youth. And she was all smiles and flirty, like a twenty years old woman. I just couldn’t believe it!

It happened to me a couple of times, if I was more arranged then usual, people around me will ask: “Are you going on a date?” NO! Do I need to be pretty just because I am going on a date? Can’t I just be pretty because I feel like it, for myself?

Why does a woman need to show off when she has a good looking man around her?...even if she is committed. Why is a woman showing off when she is going on a date? All pumped up and pretty. My friend has a saying for this “she needs to sell”.  
Ok, but lets put it the other way around…You buy a product that has a very nice pack and when you get home you realize that the inside is totally different. What do you do? Certainly that product won’t have a long term value in your eyes. Same thing with the woman that is showing off just on special dates.

Psychologically speaking the woman is showing off to bust her confidence and even if she is committed and loved by one man, a second pair of eyes will just make her feel better, sexier and…more desired. And this applies also to men, not only women.

I may see things in a reverse way, thus. Imagine this – you like someone, and only arrange yourself so that person will notice you…, that person may notice you, but…it may happen that he is just not into you or indifferent. You won’t receive any special glance or any special compliment – the person will act as usual and even ignore you. When you are alone with yourself you will feel awful. A bunch of questions will pop up in your head: “Why didn’t he see me?” “Am I that ugly/ fat etc?”

So, why do you need someone to just nail your mood…or bust it?  
When you feel good about yourself – is because of you. Because you have that attitude that reminds you how beautiful, smart and wonderful you are. From time to time you may need someone to confirm your perception of yourself so you don’t fall into narcissism, but seriously you do not need to make yourself beautiful for somebody else. You are beautiful because you are charming yourself, you have a pretty smile, you take care of yourself – and all the other attributes that you acknowledge about your person.

And those valuable attributes of your person you have them because you are a bright woman and you always take care of yourself – body and soul, no matter the situation. And, yes you have all those attributes and you don’ t need a man to tell you how you look. Don’t you have mirrors? And when you smile to yourself in the mirror tell yourself: “I am beautiful because that’s the way I am and today I am even more beautiful because it is a beautiful day outside”
So, show off, dear woman, for everybody, but especially for yourself!

Lost in the whirlpool of time management?

 *numbers*

I have been fighting lately with appreciating the time. Yes, appreciation is the right word.

I have been a very busy person from the moment I have started to mature...school, work, projects, social activities, house care, personal activities...every single moment of my day was carefully reviewed and put on a schedule for something. I have made lists and lists of calculating time and schedule minutes for things. 

It may seem a little strange to many of you - but I had calculated even how many minutes I would spend on a page to study for an exam.  " 3h - 180 minutes divided by 100 pages - it comes to 1.8 per page". Hahaha! Definitely weird! Of course, I wasn't able to follow my schedule to that amount, but in big lines I was following the schedule! That helped me focus and have a lot of things done. For 5 years I was working and going to school in the same time and it was fine. 

For 2 years now I stopped having a schedule. I could say I have one, but it's not on my wall, it's not on a cellphone or agenda - I have notes here and there, I know when I have to wake up and go to work...and the only thing I kept track of was the "to-do list at work" and the time I have spent at work - overtime. But that is my time isn't it?

I got very tired and sick of this "non-schedule" in my life. I'm running away into losing time!

And now let's see:

there are 168 days in a week

you spend at least 40 hours at work

you spend at least 53 hours sleeping 

you spend at least10 hours in traffic

you spend at least 7 hours in the washroom

you spend at least 7 hours doing housework  

you spend at least 4 hours shopping

you spend at least  7 hours on the internet or TV

total: 128 - so, you have available around 40 hours to do other things! 

Note: these times are approximate and based on a minimum amount... 

 What do you do with these 40 hours? These hours are somewhere divided between family, socializing, doing activities that you like, develop yourself! When you think of it the things that you mostly like have so little time allocated. Think how little of this you spend actually enjoying yourself with your loved ones! Ya, you like it or not this is your leftover time!

 

  Most of us in this little time that we have just for ourselves we try to find peace, to bring that balance into our lives.

Think of it! How much quality time have you spent this week? How much peace, beauty, happiness has this time brought to you? How many personal things have you accomplished? Are you a better person after those moments?

I'll leave you with the questions...

I came to a sort of conclusion in these thoughts for "time appreciation". More you put on a schedule list more you will try to accomplish, less you put less you will do.

Happy people – Who are YOU?

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Talking today with an old friend I realized something – happiness ♥ ♫ ♥
No…I didn’t realize anything in that way, but a smile was definitely there! ^_^

Are you what the society says you are? Or are you what nature made you - a soul and a body?

In life we are all linked to different social standards that we learn since we are very little. Kindergarten, school, work, marry, have children etc. There is a societal pressure on you from the day you set eyes on this life, from the things you eat to the things you spit. These are the rules that a group uses for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviours. These rules may be explicit or implicit.

And more you get into these things more they overload you and you become them. I have to do this and that…It’s like a scale. And then the question comes “Where are you on that scale?”’
Norms are mostly transmitted by non-verbal behaviour, for example with “dirty looks” when people act outside the norms. They may also be transmitted through stories, rituals and role-model behaviour.
There are groups that evolve around common opportunities for growth, such as those formed in neighborhoods and/ or in college/ university. These groups usually have diffuse boundaries and the members are attracted together by a common willing scope. There are also other types of groups that develop around family or work. In these cases, the jointure is not necessarily the product of a common desired outcome, but is influenced by external factors. As an example, children don’t choose their parents, and workers don’t choose their co-workers. It doesn’t mean that these groups are not influenced by a certain attraction, but the first bound is an external factor defying the laws of attraction. We can even say that there is not a “group” that we are talking about in these cases, but an assembly. An individual is attracted by a certain group as he expects a certain rewarding association. The attraction to a certain group means the individual is seeking social acceptance among them. Most individuals have the tendency to want to impress others. This fight for a certain “supremacy” creates differentiations. It comes to the group to accept or counter these differences. (my comments are influenced by Exchange and power in social life By Peter M. Blau)

Of course, the social norms depend on what society you are living in. It refers to the normal expected actions of the members of its society.
“Norms are efficient means to achieve social welfare (Arrow 1971, Akerlof 1976), prevent market failures (Coleman 1989) or cut social costs (Thibaut and Kelley 1959, Homans 1961); norms are either Nash equilibria of coordination games or cooperative equilibria of prisoner's dilemma-type games (Lewis 1969, Ullmann-Margalit 1977), and as such they solve collective action problems.
But, a norm cannot simply be identified with a recurrent, collective behavioral pattern.” (Social Norms- First published Tue Mar 1, 2011 from Standford Encyclopaedia of Philosophy)

Interesting, isn’t it? But, you are still wandering what is my point…
As an example, the fact that you brush your teeth every day doesn’t mean that everybody else will do so. Having normative beliefs and expecting others to behave according to a given norm does not always result in norm-abiding behavior. Normative beliefs are ones' beliefs about the extent to which other people who are important to them think they should or should not perform... Maybe the groups? In other words, on that life scale as I mentioned before in a previous post: Your “made it” may not be the same with their “made it”.
The social identity is “that part of an individual's self-concept which derives from his knowledge of his membership of a social group (or groups) together with the value and emotional significance attached to that membership”. (Tajfel 1981- Human groups and social categories, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.)

Finding your social identity mean you start perceiving yourself and your fellow group-members along impersonal, “typical” dimensions that characterize the group to which you belong. Such dimensions include specific roles, and the beliefs/actions that accompany them. In the social identity framework, norms are defined as collective (as opposed to personal) beliefs about what actions are appropriate in a group-membership context.

My question is very simple then what happens when you fail those social standards? When you get fired…when you divorce…when you lose your children…when you abandon school…when you are abandoned…Does that make you a loser?

By certain standards – yes! In these cases the group that once received you now may reject you. It’s clear: you have lost your social identity. Imagine you are 50 years old, you have a “wonderful life” – a spose, kids, an excellent job, a house…, and then you no longer have any of those. You fall into a deep depression. But who said you had a “wonderful life”? The group to which you belonged – that society. In other words, you can still have a wonderful life by the standards of other groups even if you are divorced, with no kids, with no job, with not a fix place to stay. Why? Because you are what nature made you in the first place – a body and a soul. You have a body to help you move around or just to hold your brain and you have a mind to help you think. This is the real you. 

Happiness ♥ ♫ ♥ ? You will find peace the moment you accept the natural you. And happiness is also a standard that you impose upon you, related to your values and your relation to certain social groups.

Happy people? We are all happy people – we are just focused on different societal areas!

The relative importance of emotions versus normative beliefs for life satisfaction judgments was compared among individualist and collectivist nations in 2 large sets of international data (in total, 61 nations, N  = 62,446). Among nations, emotions and life satisfaction correlated significantly more strongly in more individualistic nations (r  = .52 in Study 1; r = .48 in Study 2). At the individual level, emotions were far superior predictors of life satisfaction to norms (social approval of life satisfaction) in individualist cultures, whereas norms and emotions were equally strong predictors of life satisfaction in collectivist cultures. The present findings have implications for future studies on cultural notions of well-being, the functional value of emotional experiences, and individual differences in life satisfaction profiles. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA)

The willpower - the greatest force within you

The will is the power that helps you make decisions and makes you want more and wanting to fight for achieving your dreams.
But, wanting is not the same with doing…
You can want and dream your entire life, and all those dreams can remain there as a flask energy, tomes of un-achievements.

Most of the times we find external motivations to help us going further, we look for every sign that will help us in our way. Or we just let things die in our mental cabinets.

The Willpower is the strength to act in the pursuit of a goal. It approaches some how to Self discipline and Self control. The first thing that keeps us going in pursuing a dream is the power of the dream. When you stop dreaming, you fail!
The Willpower doesn’t come alone. It has an older brother, the Dream, also called sometimes desire, a little snob fellow. A very rebel one – the Mind, and a sort of an ugly duck, who is not really ugly by birth, but who sometimes feels so, because of the situations – the Confidence.
The dream brings the passion. The mind brings the perseverance. The confidence brings the faith.
Where does the willpower live? In your mind! How much quality do you put daily in your mind and how much garbage?


It’s not easy to enhance your willpower. You will face many roadblocks - some of them, just patterns of your mind.

   1. The first barrier is the fear. Why do you fear? In-successes from the past and the unknown. Face your fear and defeat it! Bring in the artillery of arguments…And a simple one is – “Because it has been achieved by others. If she/he could do it, why can’t I do it?” You better face your fear from the beginning because in your worst moments, it may climb on your back and suffocate you.  

   2. The second barrier is indecision. Indecision can make you lose your way. Why are you hesitant? Because you haven’t completely defeated your fear and because you haven’t visualized entirely your dream. Suppress indecision! ... With again – arguments! Bring in all the pieces of the puzzle. And a first one is – Enlighten your past! You may have failed in the past. A mistake means you have tried! Try again!

   3. The third barrier is comfort. Ok, this seems like an inappropriate one, but is just perfect. When you stay for a long time in a situation you become familiar with it, you know the flaws and you know the strengths. You know how to approach it and even the mistakes have become a habit. You know it’s not perfect, but it’s easier to deal with something known, then approach the unknown. How do you defeat your comfort zone? What will make you step out? It’s clear that over time you have put a better light on the strengths of the situation in order to help you deal with the flaws. Now it’s time to change the gear. Change your thinking! Repeat to your self every day what you dislike in your current situation. It will become that unbearable that you’ll start to move in little steps just to protect yourself first, and then to fight it!

   4. The forth barrier is lack of confidence. Of course you lack confidence if you fear and if you are hesitant. And you lack confidence making the necessary actions to achieve your dream. Find you inner strength! You were born with the ability to achieve. This ability is like a latent talent – you have it, but you don’t practice it! Practice and repeat! You lost your confidence because of the past. But didn’t you learn anything from your past? Every mistake that You made was a miss in your personality. How did you avoid it in the future? By analyse and repetition of the opposite pattern. Practice and repeat every day your good skills. Every small achievement will bring a star of confidence. And don’t forget repetition creates habits!

 5. The fifth barrier is lack of time. Why don’t you have time? Because you are disorganized! Plan! Create the plan of your dream with clear terms! Plan your day, your week, your activities! Use reminders!

How do you enhance your willpower?

Practice step by step!
Make mini-plans!
Count your small successes!
Repeat! Repeat! Repeat!

 The willpower needs a clear mind, a clear motivation and a lot of passion! Because the willpower is the greatest source of your achievements!

The little big dream

We all have smaller or bigger dreams..., but the way we approach them makes a difference in the final result.

Let’s give you an example- Mary lived in that apartment for 10 years. She wanted to do some painting, change the furniture- something new. But, she was postponing it for more a year – no time, no money, NO will…”I need to hire a team”…”I need to package my things”…”Get rid of the old furniture. I need to go shopping for new furniture”…”Oh, and wait for it to be delivered”…”Such a pain!”. Procrastination! Where was her motivation? Somewhere in “I need something new”. When her friend Lucy asked her to look for a new apartment, she couldn’t say no, so she found some time in her busy schedule. And this is how she found a new apartment…in a newer building, but smaller and with maybe a better view. So, she moved. Of course, she had to get rid of her older furniture- because “Unfortunately, it doesn’t fit in my new apartment.” And she bought the new one. Overall, she put her self in a 2 years debt, but she had finally that something new and a happy face. Motivation? Success or failure?

The secret of your success is simple:

    * You have to know exactly what you want (with all possible details)

(Question 1– Was Mary’s dream clear regarding her home? Not, really.)

    * You have to feel the passion of your dream – (How would the accomplishment of your dream make you feel?)

(Question 2– Did Mary imagine how she would feel after? No, she saw only the road blocks)

    * You have to believe (As long as your dream is reasonable, there nothing that can stop you. For every road block there is a defensive act)

(Question 3 – Did Mary find her defensive weapon? In a way, yes…through Lucy’s passion.)

So was Mary’s dream a success? In a way – yes – she found a solution. But, you can consider it as well a failure, because she didn’t change anything in her apartment, so her personality remained under the procrastination pattern.
Is your dream unclear? You will get unclear results! And sometimes you’ll even be satisfied with them, because it’s better something then nothing…And not only, but your lack of focus on the details of your dream can sometimes bring something better then what you have thought you wanted. But, that is just a question of luck and approach!
So, how do you approach your dreams?

Youtube House Party

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What do you do if you want to invite some friends over…and you don’t want to destroy the house with dancing, screams and alcohol? In the old times, before any technology was spread around people used to gather at someone’s house have dinner, and then read or sing or play some cards games. Later on, other board games were introduced, and then the revolutionary TV – that made friends gather around and watch a movie or a game. And then the video games – you can move, scream, definitely interact. But, the video games sometimes reduce the number of players and put on a side some of them…

You want something smart – that will make you interact with your friends, find out more about them and produce new discussions: Youtube House Party.
You have done many times, I’m sure…you just didn’t acknowledge you were doing it.

The process is simple. First of all you need a computer with good internet connection, and preferably a good resolution of the screen. Arrange sits around the screen, with a main sit in front. Order some pizza or whatever you want to eat…simple foods- snacks and drinks. If you want to keep it healthy – veggies, fruits and some cereal bars will be fine. Choose a team for the evening: comedy, different styles of music, beauty, advertising, short documentaries and movie trailers – more specific or more general or just go with the flow.

While your friends are there ask each of them one by one to sit on the main sit and play a video (in the theme) that they like. The thing is they always have to think what to play next and there will always be comments on the video, plus there will always be something new to discover. This is a nice comfy way to interact with your friends and get to know them better in different fields.
An even more lazy way to do this…is not even having your friends physically present…but by sharing the video on a common forum, or site or conference window and then chat online with your friends. This way you can interact only with one person, or more.
So, having fun?

I’ll let you enjoy two videos that my friends shared and I just discovered at our last Youtube House Party from the series "just go with the flow"

To vote or not to vote – that is the question

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Some events have been flying around lately – like the , the Arabic riots, the Japanese disasters, the royal wedding or the death of Osama Bin la Den…but, my point here is not to address any of those subjects…materials of information and even more specific details you will find all over the place in the news…

As in Canada today is election day…I want you to think about something…your right to vote and the decision of putting out there your vote or not.

I realised that these days more and more people do not use enough their right to vote.
People assume that their vote doesn’t count or that they don’t have a lot of choice.
But, voting is not only about the right that you have it’s also about responsibility.

 

 

Voting patterns

Voting is a method by which a person can express an opinion or make a decision on a certain matter.
In politics voting implies the election of a representative for the government.
Usually, our days - legal citizens of a country, older then 18 or 21 years old are allowed to vote, no matter their background, their race, origins or sex.
It wasn’t always like that.
Some time ago, still not that long, only men who were richer and in a high social position could vote.
Women, other races then the majority, or uneducated people weren’t allowed to vote.
Some of these people obtained their right to vote not further then 50 years ago. So, maybe your grand-mother wasn’t allowed to vote- just ask her for details!
Some of the voting rights were obtained through a lot of work - law suits, strikes, revolutions...

Think about that when you think that you may or not go to vote.

Maybe you think that your vote won’t make any difference. But 1+1usually = 2.
In 1876 Hayes won the elections in the United States by one vote. You still think your vote is not important? And that was just one example.
You may think that your indifference to elections will be shown in the percentage of people who vote. Ya, that may be true - but in some or in most countries if the percentage is too low a new election will be held. Certainly you have more time to analyse your options, but... in the same time - think that a new election is usually as or even more expensive then the first one. With what money? Figure this out by yourself!

You also may think that those who are in power will manipulate the votes on their own will. Which is pretty much true in a non-democratic country or a coercive government. BUT, as long as there is also somebody else out there that vote the same thing as you did - you can get in touch with that person and make public your point.
We live in an era of high technology where news travels faster and faster. Plus, your discontent can be easily get public through different tools of social media- twitter, facebook, hi5, myspace, blogs, forums, or mobiles. etc.
You can easily become part of those that make history.
So, ya - your vote counts- your opinion counts! And, a good example of this is the impact of social media in the Moldavian Revolution, also known as Moldavian Twitter revolution – or the start of Arabic riots.
The point I’m trying to make here is that indifference does not count! Ignorance has denied people’s right to vote. Indifference has made people be crushed by different political systems. We all have the gift of free will: we can be quiet or we can express our opinion. Expressing something is not usually easy.

You can go to vote- and your vote may not count - but still you are expressing your opinion. If you still think the vote didn’t express your view you can go further with the process. It’s all about choices and actions.

Don’t be indifferent to a thing that was achieved so hardly!

Can we change the future? A scientific view...

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I was reading this article from 1998 about quantum theory – I know it’s pretty old…, but there was something about it that struck me! It’s maybe also because I’m reading this book that contains a lot of prescience characteristics or just my open mind.
So, I decided to put together all this scientific evidence with one scope – Can we change the future? Do we have an influence on our future?

An extract from the article on ScienceDaily (Feb. 27, 1998)

“demonstrating how a beam of electrons is affected by the act of being observed. The experiment revealed that the greater the amount of "watching," the greater the observer's influence on what actually takes place(...)When a quantum "observer" is watching Quantum mechanics states that particles can also behave as waves. This can be true for electrons at the submicron level, i.e., at distances measuring less than one micron, or one thousandth of a millimeter. When behaving as waves, they can simultaneously pass through several openings in a barrier and then meet again at the other side of the barrier. This "meeting" is known as interference.
Strange as it may sound, interference can only occur when no one is watching. Once an observer begins to watch the particles going through the openings, the picture changes dramatically: if a particle can be seen going through one opening, then it's clear it didn't go through another. In other words, when under observation, electrons are being "forced" to behave like particles and not like waves. Thus the mere act of observation affects the experimental findings.

To demonstrate this, the researchers built a tiny device measuring less than one micron in size, which had a barrier with two openings. They then sent a current of electrons towards the barrier. The "observer" in this experiment wasn't human.(…) Apart from "observing," or detecting, the electrons, the detector had no effect on the current. Yet the scientists found that the very presence of the detector-"observer" near one of the openings caused changes in the interference pattern of the electron waves passing through the openings of the barrier. (…)when the "observer's" capacity to detect electrons increased, in other words, when the level of the observation went up, the interference weakened; in contrast, when its capacity to detect electrons was reduced, in other words, when the observation slackened, the interference increased. Thus, by controlling the properties of the quantum observer the scientists managed to control the extent of its influence on the electrons' behaviour” (Reference Weizmann Institute Of Science (1998, February 27). Quantum Theory Demonstrated: Observation Affects Reality. ScienceDaily)
 
I hope you just read this article as carefully as I did.
A psychiatric study at the Dream Laboratory at Maimonides Hospital, New York that took place for over 40 years tested the hypothesis that sleeping subjects could dream about aspects of randomly selected target material, for example, films, drawings, photographs, or art prints. The research approached the subject of “remote viewing” (the practice of seeking impressions about a distant or unseen target using paranormal means), prescient dreams (perception through dreams that involves the acquisition or effect of future information), and telepathy (the induction of mental states from one mind to another). These experiments were positive.

 

Alain Aspect, a French physicist, in 1982 discovered that subatomic particles such as elections are able to automatically - instantaneously - simultaneously communicate with each other regardless of the distance separating them. The speed of the information that flows in between is higher than light speed, inverting thus the time.

In quantum mechanics, the Heisenberg uncertainty principle states by precise inequalities that certain pairs of physical properties, such as position and momentum, cannot be simultaneously known to arbitrarily high precision. That is, the more precisely one property is measured, the less precisely the other can be measured.

According to the de Broglie hypothesis, every object in our Universe is a wave, a situation which gives rise to this phenomenon. Consider the measurement of the position of a particle. The particle's wave packet has non-zero amplitude, meaning that the position is uncertain – it could be almost anywhere along the wave packet. To obtain an accurate reading of position, this wave packet must be 'compressed' as much as possible, meaning it must be made up of increasing numbers of sine waves added together. The momentum of the particle is proportional to the wavenumber of one of these waves, but it could be any of them. So a more precise position measurement – by adding together more waves – means that the momentum measurement becomes less precise (and vice versa).

And then, come all the questions:
Is our future written?  Can one to influence it?  Do we really have a free will? 

In the book – my hero can see the future of his life, but he also has a glimpse of a something else beyond his life. And that something else, makes him decide to change his life in order to change that far future. But, how do you know you are making the right choices? The uncertainty principle. More you focus on the future, more you lose sight of the present, more you focus on the present, more you lose contact with the future. Fair?
But…by following the quantum theory – by barely being present here today – a mere observer of your future you are influencing your future. In other words the system is to be found in a given state at a given time – the universe wants that future to happen. Let’s say you don’t want to follow that future, so you change something. The path adjusts its self to the new course.
Lame, as it may sound – but “the Secret” theory seems to have a base. To simplify this - once you glimpse something, you make it real. Or maybe not – just focus on the present…
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Stress Management Tests

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We like it or not stress is taking place in our lives and studies are showing that even the youngster among us, I’m referring to children are dealing with stress. Believe it or not about a quarter of Canadians report a high degree of life stress.

Is just most of us we have a busy life and we pile up the things we want to do…Copping home, work- school, family, social relationships it’s not easy.
Different associations are trying to raise awareness about the level of stress and the impact on our lives. The problem with stress is that it affects one’s health…
If you are suffering from high stress levels, you may feel tense or anxious, have headaches, stomach complaints or even symptoms that mimic illnesses. Long-term exposure to stress can also lead to mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety. How stressed are you?
Here is a test to give you an idea about the level of stress you experience.
What your score means
1-6: You have few hassles, and generally lead a low-stress life. That’s great! But, don’t spend so much energy avoiding problems that you shy away from challenges.
7-13: You’ve got a handle on your life. Though you’re in good control, try to improve choices and habits that might still cause some unnecessary stress. You’ll find useful advice in this booklet.
14-20: Warning: You’re in the danger zone! Even now you’re probably suffering stress-related symptoms. Take time out every day to look at choices you’ve made and reflect on outcomes. The suggestions in this booklet will enable you to take better control of your life.
Above 20: Red flag emergency! Stop. Re-think. Change your lifestyle. Improve your diet. Make physical activity a regular routine, and above all, try to find ways to relax. Is it running? Knitting? Spending time with your kids? Try to positively alter your attitudes.

Another test is also offering a solution if your answer was not in line with dealing with test.
Answer with True or False
During a recent stressful situation…

1. I ignored the fact that something was bothering me and tried to carry on as usual. True/False
2. I made sure that I had information on how to manage this stressful situation. True/False.
3. I tried not to notice that I was experiencing signs of stress such as an increase in heart rate, problems sleeping, muscle tightness or hurried behaviour. True/False
4. I used alcohol, smoking, or other substances as a way of relieving my stress. True/False.
5. I made a plan and followed it, one step at a time. True/False
6. Every so often, I took time to relax and forget about my stress. I read, listened to music, watched a film or rested. True/False
7. I looked at the humorous side of the situation, or I gave my support and understanding to people around me who were also under stress. True/False
8. I took time to remind myself of the important things in life. I reviewed the goals for my personal life and the priorities of my work. True/False
9. I took out my anger and frustration on my friends and family. True/False
10. I kept thinking that I was helpless to deal with this situation. True/False
11. I didn’t let anyone know what was really bothering me, even though there were people available who would have been supportive or helpful. True/False
12. I started a physical activity I love (hiking, playing badminton, dancing) or doing a hobby (woodworking, knitting, crossword puzzles), so that I could enjoy myself for a while. True/False

Check the answers below to see how effectively you coped with the stressful situation in your life. If you answered in the same manner as below, you’re already practicing some effective stress strategies. If not, you may want to review the situations and consider alternative strategies that may help you live a healthier, more enjoyable life.

1. F – The first step to managing stress is acknowledging the need for change. Take some quiet time to try to identify the source of your stress. Continuing to deny a stressful situation can have serious, long-term effects on your heart health.
2. T – Once you’ve identified what causes stress in your life, it’s important to find information on how to develop new skills or improve already existing ones. A certified professional can help.
3. F – A number of problems (an increase in heart rate and blood pressure, muscle tension, poor concentration, irritability and sleep problems) can all be symptoms of excessive stress in your life. Don’t ignore these signs: they’re your body’s way of telling you something is wrong. See your doctor or a certified professional for help.
4. F – You may feel that alcohol, smoking or other substances may numb your stress and help you deal with a difficult situation. But any relief is only temporary, and this behaviour can only lead to additional problems for your physical and emotional health.
5. T – Setting some priorities and being flexible about things that are not critical can help you adapt to a particularly stressful period. Learn to manage your time and set realistic deadlines. This should be part of your overall stress management plan.
6. T – Realize that there are equally rewarding sources of satisfaction available to you. You may want to look for inspiration in art, literature, philosophy, spirituality or religion. Or simply spend time on the activities you enjoy.
7. T – Stressful situations often present an opportunity for you to grow in your positive emotions and attitudes. These can include the ability to see the humour in your situation, to trust in your convictions, and to develop more confidence in the people close to you.
8. T – Sometimes it may be necessary to re-examine your life goals to see if they still effectively reflect what you want out of your life or career. If they don’t maybe it’s time to re-assess your goals and priorities.
9. F – When you’re under pressure or stress, you may be more irritable with the people closest to you. There are more positive ways of letting out the emotional and physical tension contributing to stress. Try to avoid situations that are bound to be stressful, be physically active to reduce tension or temporarily remove yourself from a situation.
10. F – At times, stress can lead to feelings of anxiety or helplessness. It’s important to break the cycle of negative thoughts by looking for ways to reduce stress or cushion how much it disrupts your life.
11. F – Talking to others can give you a fresh perspective on a stressful situation. Plus, friends and family can provide valuable moral support when you need to feel good about yourself.
12. T – Sometimes it’s important to get some emotional distance from your daily hassles. Take on an activity that lets you temporarily forget what’s going on. Enjoy yourself.

Some steps on how to de-stress your life:

Note: Tests from the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Ontario

Paradise Kiss

the couple from the Paradise Kiss anime - George & Carolina...

Martisor - A custom to celebrate spring

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I don’t know if the custom is "exclusively Romanian", because in my travels and connections with different cultures I found similarities to this custom and symbolism that have the same extent…

But, what does Martisor mean for those of you that don’t know?

The Martisor celebration starts on the first of March and ends at the end of the month, sometimes even longer. Martisor – the name is a diminutive meaning Little Mars from Martie – the name of the month in Romanian. The actual object is like a talisman shaped as a flower, an animal, a heart, a coin that is tied by an interlaced red and white string. Mostly men or children they offer this talisman as a gift to the ladies in their lives ... not only to the relatives: wives or mothers, sisters, daughters or grand- mothers but also co-workers, neighbours, friends etc. In some parts of Romania also the young men or children (females or males) receive the Martisor as a gift. The Martisor is the symbol of love, innocence, friendship and purity – the symbol of spring its self. The white and red string is for luck and for banishing the evil spirits in ones life. And it’s said it will bring health and beauty all year long. The Martisor can be worn at the wrist, around the neck or as a brooch tied to clothes.

When did this tradition start? Long, long time ago say the archaeologists who have found evidence even at the Dacian people, the Romanian ancestors. There are different legends related to the string – the mixture of the warm upcoming beauty and the cold going winter, a duel between two beautiful princesses – the Winter and the Spring, between an old lady and a young one, between the wisdom of a man (cold and pure) and the fertility of a woman (warm and alive). Even if the Martisor tradition can be found mostly in Romania, it has spread also in some South – Eastern European countries.

I associate this type of string with other cultures customs such as Chinese or Hindu – who have similar strings to keep away the evil spirits and bring good luck. The Hindu string is also worn at the wrists and mostly by the women.

In one Romanian tradition on the first day of March a man ties a Martisor to an unmarried woman wrist and then at the end of the month he must also untie it. The customs evolves around the wish of a happy marriage for the young woman. In another tradition if the Martisor is a gold or silver coin at the end of the celebration the coin is put in water and then the woman washes her face in that water to stay beautiful and shiny all year long.
At the end of the celebration the Martisor string is attached to a blossoming tree, also to maintain the luck and happiness all year long. In some custom the string is attached to any tree and a wish is made. If the tree will blossoms beautifully your wish will come true.

Luck, happiness or innocence – the tradition has its own beauty in celebrating the coming spring. So, I introduce you all to this tradition hopping that you will enjoy it and maybe adopt it as a way to celebrate Spring.

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With or without hat

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I've drawn this a while back...on the graphic tablet, but I couldn't make up my mind on the hat. Maybe you'll have your own opinion...

Girl reading a letter

Girl...with hat...

Same girl without hat...

A Horsemen of the Apocalypse ?

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I found this video related to the riots in Egypt...
A phantom caught on camera? Lens or lights reflections?



Or just a sign of what is to come? The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - are described in just eight verses of the book of Revelation, which is the last book in the bible.

Rev 6:7 When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!" 8 I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth.

The horse is yellow green like a dead person. This horse sums up the work of the other three i.e. kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth.

I won't comment anything...just expose you the facts...so, make your own conclusion. Or, let's just see what happens.

Time Travelers?

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I found this information while searching I don't know what on the internet...And I found it interesting. Evidence about time traveling?

The picture is definitely strange...and I won't try to depict it - as, I am for sure no expert...
They say this picture has been taken in 1940 -1941 at the reopening of the South Fork Bridge after flood, somewhere in Canada...
Look at the man with the sun glasses - he doesn't seem
to fit in the crowed of that time...But is he really a time traveler? Modern sun glasses and a modern camera (or not)?

It seems others have tried to depict this picture and it is authentic, even if me personally I couldn't find it exposed on the Virtual Museum of Canada (maybe you have more luck).

Maybe the guy wasn't really a time traveler - maybe he was just a young man way ahead his time in fashion practices...How about the glasses?

The glasses to protect against the sun started around mid-18th century, but they became more popular after 1929 when they were mass produced...So, who knows, maybe they are not that modern after all...

The second so called proof of time traveling I found is from a Charlie Chaplin movie...



This one has been depicted as being a hearing device...not a cell phone. Why in the world would a old lady hold a cell phone in around 1920 when they were invented in the `80 and of course she didn't have coverage...or maybe she had some special coverage with her friends time travelers...because they were coming from the distant future...

Another example may be what it looked like a 19th century watch found by archaeologist in a grave of the Ming dynasty in Shangsi, southern China. There are two explanations to this…maybe they were not the first to open the grave, even if they assumed so… Or maybe, the predecessors were smart enough to build a watch.

There are other videos of people pretending to have time traveled…in an organized way or by accident (just YouTube it). These two – are kind of funny:



I like this one. A premonition or just a coincidence?



The thing is there are also notes before this video/audio recording technology about some strange encounters…with people that lived in a certain time and accidentally encountered in their very familiar surroundings ( like house or garden) a person that passed by shortly ( a few moments) and pretended to be from a different time and that was his or her house, garden etc.

Possible or not…Hoax or not? How about Stephen Hawking’s time travel paradox?



See you in the future past!

What have you become? (Reconnecting with long distance friends)

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I’m getting in touch lately with a lot of people that I’ve lost contact over the years – do to this social media thing. It is interesting to see how these people that you used to play with, or that you went to school with in your first years have evolved and how they react to this re-connection. This made me think about a few things.
Is this something you really want –getting in touch with a bunch of old buddies and acquaintances? How comfortable are you with that?


When you grow up and you move on with our lives, you leave behind a lot of things, not only friends or family or things, but maybe also bad memories or embarrassing moments that in a way or another made you the one you are today. As I mentioned before, in a previous post – we all have our little secrets. Is not that you are going out there and expose them publicly…or that your long distant friends will start digging these moments…Or maybe is just a picture or an embarrassing memory…Or maybe you feel ashamed of what you have become.

What are the first things that you look at when you get back in touch with these people…
1. Where do they live?
2. What schools have they attended?
3. What is their profession?
4. Are they married or single?
5. Have they changed physically a lot?

And then what do you do? You look at yourself and start to compare. You remember the dreams or ideas that you shared with that person, the memories…It’s like you are giving points and see who of you two “made it” better in life. Are you serious about this?

Aren’t you supposed to be just happy you met an old friend? Not only this, but you may start juggling about in complains that you are not where you should be because this and that... And then you don’t even want to get into discussions with that person because you feel uncomfortable. You may just keep them in your list or even delete them and hide forever in your depressive shell.

Of course, there is an opposite of this – You realize fast enough that you “made it” in life and you start bragging about yourself to the point that you become disgraceful to the other person. Or…you just can’t get it how people still can feel happy if they “didn’t make it” in life.

Ok, let’s clear the waters now!
First, people change – one may have been wick and now is stronger, one may have been stronger and now looks wicker, even their ideas and ideals in life change.
Second – you have no clue what the other person has been through with all the details for all those 15-20 years you lost contact with them just by answering 5 questions. Or the other person doesn’t know what you have been through.
Third – your “made it” may not be the same with their “made it”, even if at a certain point maybe your ideas were the same.

Maybe you won’t have the same relation as before, it may be worst or better; maybe even now – that you have reconnected you are not available for them all the time. So, let the enmity aside and be happy you have the chance to even be again in touch with lots of people that passed through your life…and they are just a click away for a simple polite and smiling “How are you? It’s so nice to have some news about you!”

Ziga-Ziga Labyrinth

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Sometimes I just like to play - so today I've prepared something fun for you...

Enjoy my Ziga-Ziga Labyrinth!


And of course you can vote for my island if you really liked it :)

Girls

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Lately I have a new occupation it seems...drawing...on the graphic tablet.

What do children do? They play even if they don't know the rules...Patience please!

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Fast, fast...something...!


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Learning ... or just playing as in old times...


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Getting there...a manga girl Momo - from Peach Girl.

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Sttt!Some master hand in...

Hopefully, there will be some more ...from the future or the past...

Teky news...

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The 2011 Consumer Electronic Show ends today in Las Vegas leaving the public with quite a few gadgets to expect or buy.

What was so exciting this year at the show?

About 80 exhibitors decided to run against the ipad by presenting a version of the touch screen tablet PC. These types of tablets want to be a mix between the PC and the mobile...covering the consumer needs from telephony to soft applications. It appears technology wants to throw laptops and desktops into the dust and bring into the light the tablet computer. Motorola, Dell, Toshiba entered the market using Android a Google operating software program.

The Android Tablet PC starts at $ 169.99 with the 2.1 model that has a 7 inch touch screen 4G, G sensor and HDMI output. The slim, compact model has WiFi 802.11 a/b/g/ a 1.3 megapixel camera and allows a lot of free or paid software downloads. The problem is that version 2.1 or 2.2 has still some bugs. The developers are still working to fix them...Maybe the upcoming Android 3.0?



Windows introduced the Windows Phone 7 the challenger to the Apple iphone G4. The new 7 will be ready for the Verizon Wireless, and AT&T networks soon.

Ms. Lady Gaga - Director of Creativity at Polaroid (sic! you didn't expect to see her name here) presented the sun glasses camera, the GL10 Instant Mobile Printer (a printer that can connect with mobiles via Bluetooth and the GL30 Instant Digital Camera (a combination between traditional printing Polaroid cameras and the digital technology).



But, the most attractive part may be the winners for the CES Hot Stuff 2011. You should follow news about these guys this year...or even buy some:

First place: Samsung ZX310 - super slim laptop rival of Macbook Air.
2.Casio Exilim Tryx - this 1080p HD videocam got it big for its flexibility.
3. Asus Eee Pad Slider - tablet? nop, this time a combination of a sliding keyboard and powerful Nvidia Tegra 2 processor.
4. Sony HDR-TD10 3D Handycam - Full HD sensors, and a 3.5in glasses-free 3D screen
5. MISA Kitara - electronic guitar with multi-touch screen, gesture recognition and open-source software - AAA??? Ya, baby, you rock!!

6. Monster Miles Davies Trumpet earphones - the world’s smallest headphones
7. Motorola Atrix - most powerful smartphone in the world that can be plugged to a computer and play 1080p HD video and run a full Firefox browser.
8. ContourGPS - videocam adds Live Viewfinder and records your movements and transmits them wireless to your phone...
9. B&W Zeppelin Air -streams music wirelessly
10. LG Smart TV Upgrader ST600 - Smart TV - ability to share content from multiple devices and also connect to the Internet.

If you just discovered your favorite gadget browse for more information. We should favor competition! Only competition can drive innovations and advances.