Last night I had a chat with a friend of mine about
things that happened in her life. She was saying that we are all puppets in the
hands of destiny. I asked her:
Can you break your own destiny?
She told me she thinks differently. She believes
that we can’t change our own destiny and all we have to do is to accept it. We don’t
have to force it. We have to reconcile with ourselves and continue on our way.
But we cannot befriend it because the evil never sleeps and it’s on the same
way as we are. We can only keep a fair distance from our own destiny to keep
out of trouble.
I told her I don’t want to believe that.
She told me that I was young, with age I would
believe the same thing. She said that actually believing this is more relaxing
and lets you breath easily.
Maybe this is why sometimes I have trouble
breathing – hahaha.
I noticed then that there is a contradiction in
myself – From experience, I wanted to believe her, but that would have meant I wasn’t
truthful to my spirit. I always fought my own destiny because I always believed
that you create your own destiny. Happiness starts with yourself.
Today I shared with her a quote: (Indian saying)
No matter who you meet, he is the right person. No matter what happens, it is
the only thing that would happen. No matter what time things started, all for
the moment. Has ended, is over.
She replied to me with this: “c'est la destinée”
(It’s destiny.)
I repeated myself saying that I don’t like this
destiny business. I refuse.
She looked at me as if I was an innocent child not
knowing what he is saying.
I told her I am worrier and that I want to stay
that way.
Fate vs destiny
While writing this I also realized something –
that we often don’t make a distinction between fate and destiny, just because
they are synonyms. In reality, there is a slight difference.
Fate is something predetermined that will happen
no matter what, in spite of any of your actions. Destiny is a set of
predetermined events within your life that you take an active course in
shaping.
I tend to believe that we have sort of a fate that
is given to us at birth through the circumstances: our genes, our
environment, our economic and social status. I mean when you are born you have let’s
say, millions of possibilities. From the first decision that was taken for us,
probably taken by our parents, we start shaping our future. We pick a direction
each time and with each direction we reduce a little, almost imperceptibly the
chances we were given at birth.
To give you a more concrete example:
I was born in a different country, that at some
point in my life I chose to leave. Most surely, at birth I was given the option
to live and have a life there. The moment I left I changed my destiny. I could
go back, there is no question about it, but it will never be the same as if I
would have stayed in the first place. Fate may still be there, but destiny has
changed.
I think that once in a while we all need to reboot
because the system gets too clogged. No matter what life brings our way, we
have to try again and again. And hopefully next time after a restart, it will
work better.
When I was young, a scryer looked at my palm and
said to me:
“You girl, you have gone ahead of your destiny.”
“Is that good or bad?” I asked.
She replied: “You will never know if you keep challenging
your own path.” She had another look at my palm and said: “There are many good
and bad things coming your way. Too many…Is like you never like to rest and you
want to experience everything.”
I didn’t ask her again if that was good or bad. To
tell the truth, I prefer not to know. Not in this way. If I glance to the
future I prefer it to be in my own way.
I totally forgot about this until now…when I am in
one of the rebooting phases of my life and it happened I had this discussion.
For a couple of years now, I didn’t challenge my destiny – I let it play its
cards and this game had become boring and cruel in the same time. Once in a
while I still take a different plane than the one I am supposed to. It brings a
momentary smile on my face. Is like I played a trick on the destiny (one drop
in the blue ocean compared to the waves it brings to us). But is not that,
destiny, as well? Just a different option.
So, yes, I truly, truly believe you can break your
own destiny…just one step at a time or through the craziness of the moment.
That way you will never know if what you did was good or bad compared with something
else. If it’s good, better for you; if it’s bad, just another line in your
palm. You can’t just sit and wait. It’s boring. And more than boring is time
consuming, and time is life. Your life.
And if the destiny challenges yourself, play back
with your own cards.
Last summer destiny played a really bad joke on
me. I was really angry and sad. I knew I couldn’t change that situation, it was
simply not in my power, but even if it was something negative I wanted to play
my best card and make a “good” memory out of it. Now, if I think back at it and
even shed a tear, there is a resigned smile on my face, because I know I fought
with all my might. I made a good sad memory out of it, a powerful memory.
Take each moment as it comes, cry if you have to cry, scream and yell, laugh and dance if that's the case, but let it go once is gone.
We are never truly the winners, but we can’t
accept to be defeated, either. After all, it’s your happiness on the line. At the
end of the road you’ll have a smile or a tear; you will not receive neither a
medal neither a kick in the ass, you’ll end the same way as everybody else –
dust. Be a freaking smiling dust! (This is a strange expression, but I hope you
understand the meaning).
Not because it will count anymore for you…Just for
the universe. Be positive.
You don’t have to have necessarily a good relation
with your destiny. You are just two old pals sometimes getting along, sometimes
fighting, and sometimes pretending you don’t care. From time to time you need
to have a face to face chat.
Enough is enough.
If you want to find out about a few tips on how to
change things in your life, like bad habits follow this link.
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